I may have cried a little…

Friday May 21^st – I had an eye Dr appointment to give contact lenses another try. After spending 2.5 hours there, we finally found a pair that seemed to work. After my appointment I ran to get a manicure (did not have enough time for a mani/pedi combo), but wanted to give my self a little time to relax either way. After that I ran home and jumped in the shower in order to be able to swing by and pick up my friends Christine, Shawn and Mike. We were well on our way to Fayetteville, NC around 3PM and we had about an hour and a half drive to make it to Fayetteville Community College, where our State Exam was scheduled to take place. We arrived by 4:30’ish and found where we needed to be. Decided we were starving and headed to Huske Hardware House (the only place in Fayetteville I knew) to grab a bite to eat. We were done around 5:20 and drove back to the school to wait for them to open up the doors and let us all in (there were about 100+ people waiting in line to get in). We decided to chill in the car with A/C and went over some study questions to freshen up our memory before taking the plunge.

Around 6:55 we were all seated in our seats and got done listening to all the rules…etc and were told we had two hours to complete our test and it was time to START. I remember opening up the booklet and reading the first question and started shaking. The questions were written in a very different format then I was used to and it scared the crap out me. I decided to skip the first 3 questions (if I can’t answer a question right after reading it, I skip it and come back to it later when I can spend more time reading it and letting it process) and by question 4 and 5 I was getting a little more accustomed to the format the questions were in and went from there. By the time I read question 100 I had written down 31 numbers down on my scrap paper to go visit at a later time and this scared me and made me start doubting my self. Some of them I was able to answer pretty quickly, but about 15 of them were a total guess (an educated guess), but a guess nonetheless. I was done with the test around 8:30 and headed outside to join my classmates that were already done. Around 8:50 we were all done and decided it was time to grab another bite and a few of us wanted to grab a beer or two or three before heading back home. We decided to go back to Huske Hardware House and hung out there till around 10PM before we headed home. I made my way around dropping off everyone and arrived home around 12:15AM and was pooped. I jumped in the shower and spent about 20 minutes trying to take out my damn contacts, when SRR finally came to my rescue and removed in 1.2 seconds. Of course by then all the damage was done and my eyes looked like I took a beating from a cat and were scratched like hell… but oh well… it was time for bed!

May 22^nd and 23^rd (the weekend) – To my surprise I was actually able to get some sleep and was woken up around 9:30AM by kisses from SRR and was asked if I would like to join him in running some errands before he headed to PA for the GNCC race. We got an oil change for his truck, grabbed a bite to eat and stopped at Dick’s to grab him a new sleeping bag. We tried to give our selves enough time to be able to jump in the pool before he head to hit the road to Greensboro to meet Charkie.

We spent about an hour in the pool acting like fool’s and it was time for him to hit the road. After SRR left, I decided to go out shopping to kill some time. Made a stop at Old Navy and picked up a few things and also made a quick stop at the pet store to grab Ollie boy some more food. The rest of the evening was spent lounging on the couch and snuggling up with my thunderstorm terrified doggie. I finally managed to fall a sleep around 2AM and was up around noon on Sunday. As soon as I opened my eyes I logged on to see if the results of the test were posted – and of course, what State Agency works on a weekend, let alone a Sunday? I spent the rest of the day trying to keep my self occupied and my mind off the test results. To my surprise I did pretty darn good. I hit the bed around 11PM.

May 24^th – I knew there was a chance the grades could be posted on Tuesday the 25^th or possibly even Wednesday the 26^th, but that did not stop me from logging on about a million times on Monday to see if they were posted. Every time I logged on I felt my heart skip a beat… and every time I checked they were not there (yeah yeah I know, I should probably learn to be a little more patient). So around 2:00PM I left work to head to my dentist for my regular check up when my phone rang, it was my friend/classmate Christine. She was calling me to let me know that the grades were now POSTED. I could not get her off the phone quick enough to be able to log on to see if I had passed or failed.

Of course it felt like my phone only had one bar and it took 3 hours to load (it was probably more like 30 seconds), but when your heart is skipping beats from nerves, it feels like FOREVER. Any who, I managed to log on and took a BIG DEEP BREATH before scrolling down to see the results, and there it was Score 90 / Status Passed. I let out one of the loudest screams I ever let out and I am sure the car next to me thought I had seen a ghost or something… but I did not care. I called a few of my classmates to let them know the grades were posted and made my way to the dentist with a HUGE grin on my face. I wanted to tell the world and share my happiness with everyone… but I managed to sit there quietly (with still a huge grin on my face) for the next 45 minutes, until I was done and I called my mom to let her know that from now on I would like to be called *NC State Certified EMT Poontater*. Pretty sure she was as happy as I was, because she let out a loud scream just like I had.

I made my way home (I was not about to go back to work after getting such AWESOME news) and found SRR sound a sleep in the bed. I managed to jump on the bed as hard as I could and greeted him with a huge grin and told him that it was official and that I was now a Certified EMT-B… We ended up celebrating by seeing MacGruber and grabbing yummy dinner at P.F. Chang’s.

Now to the point where I may or may not have cried a little… I was taking a nice long bath that night and it all sunk in. Everything I had worked for so hard in the past few months, all the stress and exhaustion I had gone through, everything I put my mind and body through had paid off. I had officially passed my test and the reality hit me and I might have cried a little. They were 100% happy tears. I was very proud of myself (which was something I had not felt in myself in a very long time). I had gone after something I had dreamt for so long, worked very hard to achieve it and it was now REAL. After feeling defeat after defeat for years while dealing with infertility all my self esteem and hope was gone. I felt like a failure and was scared that I may never be able to feel PROUD again. But the feeling that I felt on Monday night was priceless. I was proud of my self and my determination and it felt GREAT!

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.