Afraid…
It’s not like I have not known that we are moving in exactly 7 days 15 hours and 41 minutes… but for some reason today a sense of fear came over me. Fear of being and feeling alone. Maybe it’s because we have been spending a lot of time with our friends and soaking in everything or maybe because we really will be alone in a brand new state!
I started training my replacement yesterday and things were going very well. I was looking at the positive side of everything and feeling joy that I was finally leaving a job that I did not like. But when she was sitting at my desk and in my chair today a sense of sadness came over me. Maybe it’s just fear of change and the unknown, but whatever it is I am AFRAID. The thought of joining my last group next week, or having my last Happy Hour with my girl friends tomorrow just brings me to tears.
On the flip side of things, I am very excited to start our new life, meet new friends, be closer to family and have an opportunity to follow my dreams. I guess what I am feeling is normal (so everyone tells me), but I have not felt this way in 13 years (that was when we moved to the States). I bottled up all the fear, tears and sadness and now feel like they are creeping back up. What I have known our lives to be for the past 10 years, will now be different. Yeah Yeah I know it all sounds dramatic to most of you, but this is my blog and these are my feelings (funny or not).
I know that everything will be OK and we will look back a year from now and probably laugh at all my fears, but for now I feel AFRAID!
September 17th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Hey Girl…like you said. Everything will be OTAY! You are so friendly and so easy to talk to that you will make friends in no time. Look at how close we’ve become and we’ve only really started talking this year! Plus, you can help me market for my new real estate busines! tee hee hee… love ya!